The tricky parts with tables is that you have to keep all the legs equally strong to provide the adequate support for the stuff on top. The idea actually came to me couple of years when I was sitting at a coffee shop in Toronto and the table was just not cooperating. One of the legs was clearly shorter and the second you leaned on it slightly the coffee cups went sliding all over the place and I had to scramble trying to catch them. After that point came number of make shift solution attempts: napkins under the table leg, sugar packets, shifting the table to find more solid ground... but all the attempt were futile. At that point I was dating a Russian girl, Ekaterina who had a lot of issues, so somehow in my mind I saw a parallel between those two.
I really think that in order to be “balanced” you cannot forget/disregard one of the pillars. The main difference in this metaphor is that the table is gonna stay the way it is if you just leave it along. While we have to constantly reinforce our pillars to ensure that our life remains stable and things don't start falling off of the top.
Unfortunately, Ekaterina had a lot of family issues and her table was very shaky indeed. I tried to explain that by ignoring the issues it won't go away and only will bring more instability into other aspects of her life. Furthermore, when you try to combine one unstable table and one stable one it rarely works. There's only so much you can do to bring stability to the person that you care about. Only if they realize that its very tough to try to fix all the pillars at the same time.
Anyways, whenever I feel like things are shaky in my life I keep on thinking of Ekaterina and table tops and things become a bit more clear. I realize that I've disregarded one of the pillars for a tad too long and its time to invest more time in one of those four key areas.
Interestingly enough, I thought things were going quite well with Ekaterina. We've met at a salsa dance studio, where she was an instructor. She was a very smart and cute gal and we got along well. However, after a number of months of seeing Ekaterina she got engaged to her best friend, which happened completely out of the blue. The best part was that I found out about it really randomly. I thought that kind of stuff only happens in movies. ie. I was sitting in Starbucks with her friend. The friend left to the washroom and I decided to play a prank by writing something funny in her calendar. Instead I got a shock of my life when I opened the page onto Ekaterina's engagement dinner date ... big ouch indeed ;)) It further confirmed my theory about instability: basically her life was very shaky and she didn't really understand that the source of it was her own family situation. Things became even more tangled up when she came back half a year later saying that she broke off the engagement and wants to get back with me... Very unstable table indeed.
The moral of this story is that by disregarding one of the legs you are ultimately risking the stability of the whole. Moreover, if too much focus is concentrated in one direction the table is gonna end up lopsided and you'll likely come to regret it at one point in the future or other, although you might not openly admit it.
Just some food for thought, as usual.
The end ;))
- George
